Everything eventually heals. Our bodies repair themselves, our wounds heal. Our hearts heal, and even our souls find a way to heal themselves too.
Two weeks in hospital
As I lay in my hospital bed, I wept with the burning pains that pulsed through my chest and body. It felt as if a dagger had been set ablaze, and was cutting through my sternum. I couldn’t breathe. I was put on oxygen – my thoughts were a blur and my mind a mess. I was on a self-press fentanyl drip; as well on a dozen other antibiotics and other post-surgical drugs.How long would this last? I was in a complete vegetative state for a full 3 days after the operation. The agony left me paralyzed.
I was left, once again completely reliant on my friends and the hospital staff to do EVERYTHING for me! It was hard having to reply on others to get me through, but they did!! My amazing support network here in Korea really came through for me. They came to visit me daily and brought with them food, such love and all the encouragement I needed to fight through the toughest parts of the healing process. I am truly indebted to each and every one of them. The love, respect and honor and gratitude for them all – I can never truly express.
However, the body is a fucking amazing thing, and after the 4th full day had passed, I had regained my strength and was able to get up (extremely slowly and cautiously, like a freaking 100 year old women) and take a few small, wobbly steps unaided! On the 5th day, my catheter was removed and I was now able muster the energy to walk a few steps, to and from the bathroom. Then after day 8, I was able to walk around the entire ward. This I tell you, felt AMAZING!! From day 10 they began the slow removal of my over 100 stitches. Then on day 15 I went home.
The real world, My biggest test
Surviving outside of the hospital, has generally been my biggest downfall. It’s usually just days after I am released that I end up back in the hospital. So this time, to ensure I would NEVER have to go back in again for another freaking boob op, I insisted on staying in the hospital until I was truly ready to be released. This meant, that when I eventually “broke free” I could and would thrive (which I have done!!)
The first two weeks after getting out of the hospital, I frequently went in for checkups with my plastics team. They had to still remove tons of stitches, and replace the bandages. However,they were so thrilled with my progress and recovery. I was truly thriving! They gave me some exercises to do to help strengthen the muscles in my back, as they now have to work extra hard as one of the main back muscles, the latissimus dorsi, has been removed. These simple exercises should help to relive some of the suffering of back and neck pains.
Being hospital Free
Since the middle of June, I have been hospital free!! Its been fucking wonderful! I am no longer a hostage to Breast Cancer and, my own body. I am healthy and my mind and body are strong. I have completely healed from this major surgery and wear my scars as badges of honor. I have successfully managed to finally put this all behind me and move forward with the INCREDIBLE life, I know lays before me.